Waitin' On My Ride

Cinco de Mayo came and went. Once upon a time on Earth That Was, it was the Mexican independence day. Don't rightly remember where I picked that up, but it kept blazin' through my mind last night. They fought a war, too, but I reckon they won, seein' as how they had their own independence day. We lost, so we got Unification Day.

How do you fight a war's already been lost? I was too young to fight in it, hell, I was too young to understand it. I ain't now, and I wish to God I coulda been there. Maybe one more woulda made a difference. More'n likely not, but at least I woulda been fightin' for somethin' I believed in.

But the war ain't over. Sure, there's no armies marchin' across fields of battle, but there's still a war. Gorram 'lliance says it's won, comin' 'round and tellin' folk how to live, how to think - meddlin' where they got no business doin' so - but they still act like they're in a war when they send teams of op'ratives to blow up ships and kill people. And they ain't won at all. There's still a spark here and there, there's still life in the cause. People won't lay down and die, no matter what the outcome of the damn war was. I know I ain't.

I made all my arrangements. Got in contact with The Lone Reverie - Cap'n Card's makin' out alright and so's the crew. They got a few new faces, he said on his wave, but they were survivin'. I hate lyin' to the man - he gave me everything - but I don't want 'em dragged into this if things go south for me. The less anybody knows, the better. I told him things had got hot and I needed a lift in a bad way - reckoned I'd try campin' out on one of the core planets for a bit, seein' as how nobody in their right mind'd look for me there. Pretty sure he bought it. The man taught me about subterfuge, so he may well see clean through me. I reckon he'd try and help me if he knew, cuz if anyone hates the 'lliance, it's him. But he's got a good thing goin' and a crew needin' watchin' out for, so I can't be lettin' him take those risks. 'Sides. This is my rampage.

I figured on goin' to Osiris first. I can spend some time gatherin' information, get the lay of the land, and figure out how to go 'bout firin' the first shot. I'd do some more plannin' here, but I can't be sure how close the feds watch the nets, and I don't want nothin' leadin' back here. So maybe it's like marchin' into Parliament armed with a huntin' rifle and a sketchy plan to end my life in a blaze of glory, but not so much. I plan to be careful. Said I wouldn't mind dyin' fightin' for what I believe in, but I sure as hell'd rather live through it so I can enjoy my freedom in the end.

I arranged my affairs, though. Made certain if anythin' happened to me, my friends'd know, and they'd be taken care of. I couldn't just leave it, cuz then the folks I care about'd prol'ly never know or understand what happened. I couldn't do that, 'specially not to Amyla. She won't understand anyway, and I know she'd try and stop me if she knew what I was plannin'. She's browncoat enough in her heart, but she's got so many ties to the 'lliance, and she's a pacifist on so many levels. Ain't sayin' she wouldn't pick up arms and do her damnedest to wreck the 'lliance if the right set of circumstances came up, but these ain't the right circumstances, and until they crop up, she ain't gonna understand why I gotta do this.

The Reverie's scheduled to dock tonight. Cap'n Card's just throwin' down anchor long enough for me to stow my stuff, and we're gone. We'll prol'ly stop over on Persephone for food and fuel, maybe see if he can't pick up a few passengers and a job. I'm hopin' it'll look like I got picked up there, just some transient worker. Ain't holdin' my breath, and ain't settin' foot off the boat while we're there. My luck, I'd run into my Pa or Christopher, and that'd be a fine wrench to throw in a sensitive engine.

For now, I'm waitin'. Kinda nervous, kinda anxious. Some small partta me's beggin' to stay, to go buy a place on Blackburne and live out my life there, not get involved with this mess. But I don't hold with bein' a coward. I can't. Those were my friends on Hale's Moon. And eventually, it'll end up in Blackburne, and my friends, my family, they'll have to suffer the same. I won't let that happen. So I'll just keep waitin' til my ride gets here.