The bots're here. On Blackburne and on Hale's Moon. We knew they was on Blackburne. Gorram drones're blockin' the pass to the Wastes, and there've been some skirmishes with warbots so far. No major attacks. I think us findin' 'em was a fluke. Me and x0x0 ran into 'em that night when I brought her outta the Wastes and they attacked and couldn't kill us. They don't know how much we know. I suspect if they did know, they'd be changin' up their strategy and we'd prol'ly all be dead.
I was madder'n a cut snake earlier on accounta findin' out Ben'd kissed Lily 'n' told her he loved her. Ironically, heard about it just after I'd glanced outside and saw him panderin' 'round with that new dancer from Blackburne he's been messin' with. Wanted to kill him. Or 'tleast maim him good and proper. But Lily said no, there was nothin' 'tween 'em and I shouldn't be mad. So I left Fook Yoo's 'n' stormed out into the badlands to find somethin' to shoot at.
Found a drone. I'd heard rumors they'd been sighted on Hale's Moon, but hadn't seen any sign of any. Took it down without much trouble. Ain't so fearsome when they're on their own. But then, it was like the sky disappeared, there were more of 'em'n I could count. All I could do was run like hell, shootin' as fast as I could, reloadin' as fast as I could. And I prayed. Cuz if I died out there, who'd know? Who'd find my body, 'sides gorram Reavers? Who'd tell folks 'bout what I saw?
Ain't rightly sure how I got out alive, but I did. I ran back in town as fast as my legs'd carry me and told the first people I saw. Then I headed for Blackburne to spread the word. I reckon Td saw how scared I was, cuz he headed out to the pass to draw some o' the gorram things out, to thin out the population. Good group went with. Cholgosh, Alison, Belize, and later, General, Jango and Zade showed up to help. We took down more'n I could count, but they was only comin' out a few at a time. Like they was teasin' us or somethin'.
I pray to God Sabrina figures out some way to wipe 'em all out. Or anyone, really. Cuz the longer we wait, the more there'll be. And I'm already terrified. I don't wanna see the folks I care so much 'bout slaughtered by some gorram machines. I don't wanna see alla humanity wiped out cuz the gorram 'lliance needs to have its gorram tight grip on everything't goes on in the 'verse and're willin' to do anything, go to any lengths, to see it done.
Then there's what Pod brought to light t'other day. The fleet of old 'lliance ships massin'. Dunno if it's got anything to do with the bots, but either way, it spells more trouble for everyone. I sent a wave to the Brotherhood lettin' 'em know 'bout it, sent 'em the picture Pod showed me. Maybe they'll be able to figure out what's goin' on with that. Cuz it ain't somethin't needs ignorin'.
And I'm worried 'bout Belize. She ain't been the same since she came back. Always wearin' those sunglasses. Half the time she's cold, like she ain't got no emotions, and the other half, she seems... angry, distant... And then, she's poppin' pills. A lot of 'em. Got a look at the bottle tonight when it fell outta her bag. Ain't aspirin. Chol said she's been havin' bad headaches. But... I dunno, I just get this real bad feelin'. Like somethin's wrong with her. She was actin' funny earlier, askin' 'bout how to get to the Wastes, what with the drones blockin' the pass. She looked... I dunno. I'mna keep an eye on her, though, cuz somethin' ain't right. And it'd kill me if somethin' happened to her.
Feels like everything's spinnin' outta control. Like I'm watchin' this huge storm rollin' in, like I can't do nothin' 'bout it but run 'n' hide when it gets real bad. I don't like that. Makes me feel even more useless. There was a point tonight where I felt like there was no hope, like none of us'd come outta all this alive. But then, I remembered this thing I heard on an old Earth That Was vid....
"All of life can be broken down into moments of transition and moments of revelation. This had the feeling of both...There is a darkness greater than the one we fight. It is the darkness of the soul that has lost its way. The war we fight is not against powers and principalities: it is against chaos and despair. Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope, the death of dreams. Against this peril we can never surrender. The future is all around us, waiting in moments of transition to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future, or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born in pain."
So, guess all I can do is keep on as I have and just take things as they come. All I wanna do is protect the people I love and the places I call home. And to do that, I gotta have hope that it'll all turn out right. In the mean time, I got some prayin' to do and some skills to hone...
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