Between my crisis of conscience, an enlightenin' talk with Nack Barnes, gov'ner of Blackburne Downport, and an offer I couldn't refuse from Amyla an' Cholgosh, I've found myself back on Blackburne. Guess some things weren't meant to be - terrorism ain't really my cuppa tea anyway, so I ain't even real upset with my decision.
It was certainly interestin' explainin' I'd temporarily lost my mind to Cap'n Card, but when I told him what I'd been plannin', he said he wouldn't drop me on Osiris - 'nfact, he wouldn't even let me get off The Reverie when we made port. But he did get me a box of chocolate cupcakes. Said he reckoned they'd help with my Uncle Grouchy visitin' or somesuch nonsense. As much as the man hates the 'lliance, I was real surprised when he told me to get on back home where I belonged. He's a good man. Said he was glad I finally found a place in the 'verse.
From what I heard from Nack, it sorta sounds as though the 'lliance is gearin' up for a second round of war, what with continuin' to attack Hale's Moon. He said that was how the last war started, and he's advisin' everyone he meets to start stockin' up on ammo and food. But basically, he made a comment 'bout not directly attackin' 'em to give 'em a reason to attack us - instead, we should all be preparin' for the day when the 'lliance comes back so we can break their teeth. Made lots of sense. It hit me real hard, how I kept flounderin' over what I was gonna do on the central planets to attack 'em, cuz some part of me knew it was wrong. Whereas, if the 'lliance showed up on Blackburne lookin' for a fight, I wouldn't hesitate to kill every one of 'em. Guess it's the difference between bein' a hired soldier and someone protectin' what's theirs - the hired soldier don't go that conviction, they're just followin' orders.
As for Amy an' Chol... Well, it's somethin' I've wanted for a good long while now, and I couldn't say no. Prol'ly'll be sorta awkward startin' out, mainly mostly for me, cuz I'm worried 'bout boundaries. I'm sure it'll pass with time and experience. We'll have to see where it goes.
On the whole, I gotta say I'm glad to be home. There's a little part of me that's sad over not stickin' it to the 'lliance, but that part's just gonna have to deal with it. Makes more sense to do things this way.
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When I first read one of your blogs, I always imagined you being so much younger! I guess this comes to show how easily it is to let assumptions get you. I never really saw you leave, but I can say that I'm glad you're... here? There?
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